HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
