how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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