Christians are straight up FREAKS
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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