around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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