You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
