i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
