so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
