I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
