why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
