my sisters under your porch take her home
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
