My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
