You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize