Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
