I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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