fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
