I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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