I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
