I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
