its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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