you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
