the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize