You can't motorboat a personality
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
