Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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