Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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