I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
