I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
