Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
