If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
