I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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