I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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