What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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