did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
