Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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