I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
