she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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