It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
