I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
