I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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