This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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