and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
