Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize