if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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