are you still at the devil's house?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
