Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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