Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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