He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
