Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Terrible idea I love it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
