you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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