No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
