Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
