Your dad touched me again.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize