I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My ass is underappreciated
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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