I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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