She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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