I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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