You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
