You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
