I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize