checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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