well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
