found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
