Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I would ride that face into the sunset
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
