:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
