too bad you live with your parents still
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
