I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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